literature

dollarstore happy.

Deviation Actions

arabesque-o's avatar
By
Published:
296 Views

Literature Text

this happiness feels fragile, like if i hold it too long it will break,
the way some things just do.
a dollarstore happy,
easy,
but temporary.

i like the weight of it on my skin though.
the way the fragile skin over my wrists has healed into soft tapeworms.
the way the sky seems bluer even when its grey.

i can feel my heartbeat in my fingertips.
my heart lives on the tip of my tongue where i keep swallowing it down
in the hope that someday it might stay down,
and i will be able to forget.

i will learn to forget the pulse in my wrists
and unlearn the butterflies that live under my ribcage.
i will call my heart the sea and sail it
instead of letting it drown me,
and allow my emotions to wash up on the beach of my doubts
and wither until you can smell the swell of happy i will wear in my bones.

i will refit the canvas of my skin
so that maybe someday i can for once in my life feel at home under my shatterglass ribcage and unzippered spine.
today would've been 3 weeks,
the longest i've ever gone without using the exactoknife to burn it down.
i'm happier than i've been in a very long time despite relapses. i can't keep believing i'm worthless.
but i miss random interwebb convos x) hows it going peoples of deviantart?
© 2012 - 2024 arabesque-o
Comments10
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Jadite's avatar
<33 this is gorgeous.