literature

this is the way you say goodbye.

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arabesque-o's avatar
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Literature Text

you can only take so much
before i start losing it all.

(but maybe nothing matters anymore).

is this how you say goodbye?
your hips thirsty as beggers,
you hands needier,
as you press yourself into me like a prayer.

tell me,
did you drink in enough of my skin to last you until my body
returns to you again?

i am not an empty carasel set to keep
turning and returning to the crankshaft of your need.
i am not a highway for you to wear ruts into,
or a record you can keep replaying.

...at least i tell myself this

on those nights when memories find me like an abusive father
and i am left with heaving chest and bruised knuckles.

i tell myself over and over and over
'you are not his doll to be played with, broken,
and leftin the cesspit of his weakness'

but i never could believe it.
i wrote this the last night before i left. one of the lowest moments of my life. i was so bitter. so sure it was never going to change. one of the most honest things i've tried to write, and honestly, it makes me feel vunerable share this paticular piece of crap.
© 2012 - 2024 arabesque-o
Comments5
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Jadite's avatar
your words are so honest it hurts to read. vulnerable is the hardest to write, but so rewarding and healing. it is part of healing.